The site has moved to its final resting place. No, it hasnt died, it has mearly moved to its own domain. You can now find it at www.theworldweblog.co.uk. Hope to see you there soon.
Its been a very long time hasnt it? As many of you will know, I moved to 8tc but then they closed. Due to changing the software I used to post my blogs, I lost all teh posts since my change over so became slightly dis-heartened. I have since become more determined to start this up again though. I am actively searching for a new host and am trying to get someone to desing me a new design. I will keep you informed on any progress. Until I get a new host though, I dont expect to be blogging too regular because I have just about had enough of Blogger.
Until next time, bye.
Notice anything different about this site? Nope, didnt think you would. No-one really pays any attention to this site do they. Well I have removed the monthly favourites from the left navigation bar. My reasons were as follows. Althought I thought this was a very good idea, it forced me to update the site every monday, and I didnt feel I could truthfully promise that I would do that every week. Now on to the interesting stuff...
Oh im sorry, its only me. I guess reading about my life will have to do for now. I may descide to allow some other people to blog on my site in the future, but at the moment, its just me allowed to. My new maths teacher is quite interesting in his appearance. He is a Father Christmas (big, fat and jolly) with a mixture of accents. His fashion sense is appaling, for instance, today he had on a cardigan which didnt even fit him properly. His stupidity is almost too good to be true. yesterday, he wrote a whole lessons work on the board, and then realised he had used PERMANANT PEN!!! I mean what a fool? He then sends Gareth off to the science faculty to ask for some 'ethanol' because he also can teach GCSE science so knows a bit about chemicals. It seems he got it off in the end because when we came to class today, there was hardly any trace of the work from the previous day.
Here is a poem/piece of writing, call it what you like, that I started when I was full of emotions. Ive just found it and descided to share it with you. None of it was fake or made up so dont give me no grief about it saying its bollocks because its the complete opposite. Enjoy... Sitting here semi naked, I stare at the screen in front of me from which I have plucked so much hope until now. Now all I see is the pain that runs my life. It takes me by the reigns and screams orders at me. I try to numb its yells out with music but no matter how loud I play it, the pain always seems to go one notch further into its seemingly endless pain Scale.
My hands bulge as if the real me is screaming to be set free. I punch the cold dark wall to cause a split in my skin so that the real me can escape but it fails. I twitch like the ears of a rabbit. Always moving to see who it is behind me, only to discover that I am truly alone in this World. I desperately seek the person outside the door to come in but they never do. Why would they, no-one cares enough to come in here with all my pain spread out on the floor. They call me paranoid, they call me a perv. Who really cares what they think. I DO!
I long for their approval. One long search whose end will never be found. I am who I am but no one seems to be able to handle that. They all want me to change. I try but fall and they just stand and laugh. One person comes along and offers me a hand but I can’t accept it. That would show weakness.
People aren’t allowed to show emotion, they aren’t allowed to cry. When people shed a tear they are weak, when they punch a person they are strong. It takes a strong person to show their feelings but it only takes a fool to show their strength. They don’t want to be associated with me. They especially don’t want to be seen with me. What did I do that was so bad? Did I show too little emotion, or was it that I tried to show too much? Judging me is easy, yet they fear people judging them. Do they really fear others judging them, or are they scared that they can relate to my cries for help and just are afraid to acknowledge that they understand what i'm talking about when I say Im hurting.
I am going to kill myself, I say to them, but all they do is laugh and make me more determined to prove them wrong and show them how much I hurt.
This is my pouring my heart out all over the floor. If you are kind and brave enough to mop it up into a bucket, then maybe you will be able to make some sense from all these words. On the inside I cry, but no-one can hear my screams for help. On the outside I laugh and pretend I'm alright, but if you only knew. Everyone sees the laughter, but nobody can see the tears. You ignore my feelings and laugh when I ask for their help, yet I am the cruel person.
Hang on, shouldnt I be at school? Well I should be, but Im not. As I woke this morning, I thought, 'Im too tired to go to school' and then went back to the land of nod until somewhere near midday. This meant I have had the entire day off school and if you add Chemistry, which I 'bunked' yesterday last period then its even more.
You may see a change in template for my blog soon. I have been looking around at some other templates and seeing which ones I like. I feel that the current encarnation of the site is a bit unorganised and so want to make the template customised to myu needs, with everythign in place so that I dont have to go editing each page whenever I think of a new idea.
I Had a chat with Rob's fantasy of almost a year now, Harriet (or Hot Toast in code incase she is near), yesterday. Started chatting and somehow got on to the subject of Rob. She got quite worried when I told her how he still fancies her, even though he hasnt ever spoken to her properly. She says that she didnt even know he existed until a few months ago... Doesnt look good for his chances does it? We shall see how it goes, he may one day get the courage to actually say hello without anyone's help (doubt it but it may happen).
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